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I am sure you've experienced this and often thought to yourself...
"Why can’t you just shut up and listen?"
It is so infuriating when they keep butting in and you haven’t even got to your point.
Most people have been taught how to talk, what language, tone, pace etc to use.... But have we ever been to to listen?
Listening is as much of a skill as talking is.
I am sure you have heard the common phrase “We listen to respond”
And that is very true…
I know I am guilty of it a lot of the time, but I have found a quick and easy way to stop doing this.
It is so simple it will blow your mind…
STEP 1 AND IT'S THE ONLY STEP -
“Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth”
That is it, simple as that.
Now I know you are probably thinking….eh? ...What’s Steve on about now?
WHY?
Here is the principle and as I often say, when we understand, it makes sense and we can see the logic in it and that is when the trust and belief comes.
So, play along with me…right now… Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
Now with your tongue still stuck to the roof of your mouth, try and say something.
It is nearly impossible and any noise you did make is just weird right?
So, here is how it works…
When we are listening to someone else - Stick your tongue to the roof of your mouth.
Then when you feel the urge to jump in, to have your say, to add to the quality of the conversation (or not) you have to physically “un-stick” your tongue from the roof of your mouth.
It is in this millisecond of time and the fact that you physically have to do something that you ask yourself, is now the best time for me to speak?
Yes, a millisecond…doesn’t sound long, but it is enough time to catch yourself and if it will not benefit the conversation or will interrupt the other person….then keep that tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth.
This has helped me tremendously within my Leadership and critical for me to be able to listen 100% with every fibre of my being to my team.
See, told you it was easy….nothing too it.
Listening is a gift.
And when we can give it to another person, to listen wholeheartedly, not interrupt, not comment or add….but just listen, that other person will feel valued, validated, cared for and connected.
Imagine if you could give that gift in every conversation you have….
How great would your relationships be?
(p.s. if you were working with me through any of my programs, I would share even more easy tips like this to enhance your communication skills and your relationships…check out the links below to find out more)
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Steve Barker - Personal Development Coach - Leadership Coach - Executive Coach - Public Speaker - Author - Workplace Culture Creator
- (+61) 0499 152 552
- steve@stevebarker.com.au