Why You’re Carrying Your Team… and How to Finally Change It

Why You’re Carrying Your Team… and How to Finally Change It - Steve Barker _ RAW Leadership

If you feel like everything would fall apart without you… you’ve unknowingly become the safety net instead of the leader.

This isn’t a criticism. It’s the reality for most capable, committed leaders.

You care deeply about standards. You care about outcomes. You care about doing things properly. So when something slips, you step in. When someone struggles, you take over.

When decisions need to be made, you make them.

Not because you want control… but because you want certainty.

But over time, something starts to happen.

Your team brings you more problems.

They rely on you more

.They step back… while you step forward.

And eventually, you realise something confronting.

You’ve trained them to depend on you.

Not intentionally.

Not consciously.

But behaviourally.

And now, you’re carrying more than you should.

The mental load.

The emotional load.

The responsibility for everything.

This is where leadership becomes exhausting.

Not because your people are incapable… but because they haven’t yet been developed to carry responsibility with confidence.

This is not a people problem.

This is a leadership development opportunity.

Why This Happens (And Why It’s Not Your Fault)

Most leaders are promoted because they are capable. Reliable. Competent. Driven.

You were the one who could be trusted to get things done.

But the skills that made you successful individually are not the same skills required to build capability in others.

In fact, those strengths can quietly become the problem.

Because when you solve problems quickly, you unintentionally teach your team not to solve them.

When you step in early, you unintentionally teach them to step back.

When you carry responsibility consistently, you unintentionally teach them not to.

This creates a behavioural pattern.

They depend. You carry.

They wait. You act.

They hesitate. You decide.

And over time, this becomes the culture.

Not because anyone chose it… but because behaviour repeated becomes behaviour normalised.

The Hidden Cost Most Leaders Never Talk About

At first, it feels manageable.

But over time, it becomes draining.

You feel constant pressure.

You feel mentally switched on all the time.

You struggle to fully relax, even outside of work.

Because part of you knows… you are the pillar everything rests on.

This is where frustration begins to grow.

You start asking yourself questions like:

“Why don’t they take more ownership?”

“Why do I have to do everything?”

“Why can’t they just step up?”

These are not unreasonable thoughts.

They are signals.

Signals that your leadership must now evolve from doing… to developing.

From solving… to strengthening.

From carrying… to creating carriers.

The Shift That Changes Everything

Strong leadership is not measured by how much you can carry.

It is measured by how much you can help others carry.

This requires a deliberate behavioural shift.

Not dramatic. Not aggressive. But consistent.

Here are two powerful strategies you can implement immediately.

Strategy One: Stop Being the Immediate Solution

When someone brings you a problem, your instinct is to help.

This comes from care. Responsibility. Leadership.

But every time you provide the answer, you reinforce their dependence.

Instead, pause… and ask one simple question:

“What do you think we should do?”

This question changes everything.

It shifts their brain from dependency to ownership.

At first, they may hesitate. They may be unsure.

That’s normal.

They are using muscles that haven’t yet been developed.

Your role is not to rescue… but to reinforce their thinking.

Over time, something powerful happens.

They begin arriving with solutions, not problems.

Their confidence grows. Their capability expands.

And your mental load begins to reduce.

Strategy Two: Allow Space for Ownership Discomfort

This is where most leaders unintentionally reverse progress.

When someone struggles, it feels uncomfortable to watch.

So you step in.

But growth requires discomfort.

Not emotional harm… but developmental stretch.

Allow them to think. Allow them to try. Allow them to learn.

Support them, but don’t replace them.

Because every time they solve something themselves, their identity shifts.

They stop seeing themselves as dependent… and start seeing themselves as capable.

And capable people carry responsibility.

What Happens When You Get This Right

This is where leadership becomes lighter.

Your team starts thinking independently.

They take initiative without waiting.

They solve problems without needing constant guidance.

They step forward instead of stepping back.

And you finally experience what leadership is supposed to feel like.

Clarity. Confidence. Space.

You stop carrying everything… because you no longer need to.

Not because you care less.

But because you’ve built people who can carry it with you.

This is what strong leadership creates.

Not dependence.

Capability.

Not control.

Confidence.

Not exhaustion.

Strength.

Your Next Step

If you recognise yourself in this, understand this clearly…

There is nothing wrong with you.

You have simply reached the point where your leadership must evolve.

And when it does, everything changes.

Work with me, and in six months I’ll help you develop the leadership capability to build a confident, self-reliant team that takes ownership, reduces the pressure on you, and allows you to lead with clarity, strength, and confidence again.

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